We are a few days away from possibly achieving a first in the NFL - the first team in history to win the Super Bowl six times. It doesn't sound like much, but it is something pretty special.

Especially for the Steeler Nation. The Steeler Nation is something you don't understand unless you have been a part of it. Basically, the Steeler Nation is a group of displaced Pittsburgh Steeler fans. They are all over the world for one reason or another - jobs, spouses, commitments, etc. As a part of this elite group, you are a Pittsburgher at heart. That's the only requirement.

I was a part of it in the spring of 1986 when Dave and I moved to Lima, Ohio. Gosh I hated it there. I was alone all day long with Nikki. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing but she was only a few months old so conversation wasn't the best. Dave worked for an explosives company at the time. He put in 16 hour days. By the time he got home from work, he'd fall asleep while eating dinner. It was that bad.

But through it all, we grew as a couple. We grew as a little family. We learned to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and pay our own way in the world. The money was tight, but we managed. And we solidified our bond.

That said, we couldn't wait to move back home - back to Pittsburgh where our friends and family are. We learned an appreciation for this steel city and the hard working people who live here.

Hines Ward said he wants to win this one for the fans. He told reporters that the folks of the Steeler Nation are the best he's ever seen. So this weekend, as the world watches the Super Bowl for the 43rd time, I invite you all to become a part of the Steeler Nation.

Here we go, Steelers! Here we go!

Christmas Blessings to you all!

Three years ago today, at about this same time, our phone rang. From that moment on, mine and my entire family's lives changed forever.

There was a female county police officer on the other end. She confirmed my name and that I was my dad's daughter. She informed me that my dad had "collapsed" at the county park and had been taken to the local hospital's emergency room. She told me I should get there as soon as possible. I thanked her and hung up.

I reached for my cell phone and called Dave. He was in a store shopping for a camera he needed for work. He said he would head to the hospital immediately. I felt relief that he was close by and could get there before me.

I then called up the stairs to Nikki who was getting ready for class. She said she was coming with me.

What I did next puzzles me to this day. I continued what I was doing when the call came in - putting on my make-up and styling my hair. I remember feeling that everything was under control and that I would probably have a long day in the ER because most everything takes a long time in the ER.

Our phone rang again. This time it was one of my dad's daily walking buddies. He just wanted to be sure I knew I needed to get to the hospital. I said I did and was leaving shortly. I thanked him for his concern and hung up.

By this time, Nikki was downstairs putting on her coat. She said she would drive. I'll never forget the look of panic in her face.

As Nikki and I drove to the hospital, I talked of how I thought my dad had probably slipped on some ice and injured himself. I made plans for bringing Mom to the house while Dad recovered. I felt remarkably calm. Nikki didn't say much, only nodded as she rushed us to the ER.

But the closer we got to the hospital, I felt a sudden urgency. Nikki pulled up in front of the ER doors and I jumped from the car. At this point I was jogging.

The automatic doors opened and I blurted out my name to the nurse in the triage, check-in window. Just then, the automatic doors to the treatment area opened and I caught sight of Dave. His eyes were red, his mouth in an unmistakable frown.

The rest is a blur, but I remember Dave taking my arm and saying it didn't look good. He guided Nikki and I to a quiet little waiting room. My dad's walking buddies were already there.

Looking back, I realize all of the signs were there - the sad expressions, the treatment room we walked past with the lights dimmed and the curtains drawn around the bed, the averted eyes of the ER staff when they saw me. But I still didn't get it.

I stood against the wall in the tiny little waiting room and waited. I didn't feel an urgency nor did I feel a sense of calm. I felt numb. Dave said the doctor was coming soon to talk with us. My heart was pounding.

But I still don't think I got it. For some reason, I thought my dad was seriously injured and would recover fully. After all, he's MY dad. He recovers from everything.

As I mark this awful anniversary today, I am still so full of sadness. We lost a wonderful, loving and caring man on December 5, 2005. He is greatly missed.

Love you, Daddy.

I spent some time this morning at the Alzheimer's message board where most of us met. It's been quite some time since I was there last. It appears as if the trolls have moved on, or at least are busy for the moment.

I was astonished to see some of the familiar posters there who are still at it but have reached end stages. My heart just breaks for them as we have all been there. I tried to offer some words of comfort. I don't know if it means anything to them, but they remain in my thoughts and prayers.

I was also shocked to see one of the younger AD victims suffered a mild stroke recently. She is a wonderfully strong woman but it is awful to read her posts and realize the way this disease is ravaging her mind and body.

Hopefully I will find more time - or make more time - to stop in there from time to time and offer some kind and encouraging words. It's been a year for me since my 24/7 caregiving days, but the memories are still so vivid.

Over the last few days, I have felt kind of "out of sorts". I've found it difficult to focus on any task for longer than 30 minutes and have spent the better part of the last two days aimlessly wandering from one thing to the next. I thought maybe I was coming down with something, but no - physically I am fine. It wasn't until I looked at the calendar that it began to make sense. November 22, 2008 would mark my parents' 50th wedding anniversary.

I remember my grandparents' 50th. They had a special Mass said for them at the church where they were married in 1921, and we had a big party with white and gold tissue paper wedding bells at The American Legion. All the aunts and uncles, cousins and even great aunts and uncles were there. Grandma was all dressed up in a pretty pink dress and wore a corsage of white roses. Grandpa wore his finest suit and sported a matching boutonniere.

I was only 8-years-old for their big day, but I remember shopping for my grandmother's dress with her and my mom. I also remember the light blue dress with the white lace overlay and matching lace tights I wore for the occasion. I'm pretty sure I wore black patent leather shoes, too. Or maybe they were white since it was June. I think I slept with rollers in my hair the night before so that my hair would have soft curls. My dad loved my hair when it was curled softly and pulled loosely from my face.

There are old pictures pushed in a shoebox somewhere that I brought home from my mom and dad's house when we cleaned it out. I'll have to search for them and put them in an album or frame.

My parents were married for 47 years. I remember thinking about a 50th anniversary party for my parents prior to my dad's death. I hadn't planned it all out, but made some loose plans in the back of my mind. I knew we would have a special Mass and a party, too. I probably would have hosted the party because everyone says I have the most room to accommodate everyone. I don't know about that, but one thing I am certain of: I would have cooked for days!

After Dad died, I never told Mom when it was their anniversary. I knew it would only make her sad.

But tonight I will raise my glass: here's to you Mom and Dad - Happy 50th Anniversary. I miss you both so very much, but I hope you are happy and whole again while celebrating your special day together.

Brian showed this video by Gary Jules to me last night. There's something sad yet uplifting about it. The original version was done by Tears for Fears, but it sounds more like a dance tune from the 80's. I like this version much better:







Mad World

all around me are familiar faces
worn out places
worn out faces
bright and early for the daily races
going no where
going no where
their tears are filling up their glasses
no expression
no expression
hide my head i wanna drown my sorrow
no tomorrow
no tomorrow
and i find i kind of funny
i find it kind of sad
the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you
i find it hard to take
when people run in circles its a very very
mad world
mad world
children waiting for the day they feel good
happy birthday
happy birthday
and i feel the way that every child should
sit and listen
sit and listen
went to school and i was very nervous
no one knew me
no one new me
hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
look right through me
look right through me
and i find i kind of funny
i find it kind of sad
the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you
i find it hard to take
when people run in circles its a very very
mad world
mad world
enlarging your world
mad world

We finally brought Fanny home in late October. She is doing so well and she settled in to our routine in no time. It does my heart good to see her every morning. She's a wonderful old girl who deserves a restful retirement.

We are keeping the horses separated for a few days. Dale has been alone for several years and he is very eager to meet his new friend. Fanny wasn't too crazy about Dale in the past and I don't want her to hurt him. So we have this small line of fencing between them for a while.

It's funny because I bring Fanny in first for her dinner. She has a fit if she doesn't see Dale, but settles as soon as she sees him coming in to the barn. Yet, she doesn't want him too close. It won't take long until they are inseparable. That's just the way horses are and it's their pecking order. Fanny is clearly the matriarch head mare in this herd of two!